just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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