I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
