I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
