Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
