they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
