is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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