You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There r osticjed everywhere
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
