On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
