Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
