whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
