Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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