WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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