I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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