hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
