How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
