doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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