girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize