I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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