My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
