make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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