just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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