I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize