And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize