The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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