he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
