At least make sure they are 18
Why
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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