Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
