My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
