This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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