She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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