With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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