Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize