Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
