but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
nutella sex= disaster
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
