idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
