No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
