just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I seem to have left my pride at pride
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
