Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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