This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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