is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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