in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
