I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
