I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
