im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You are the jesus of drinking
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
