I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
