I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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