i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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