we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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