allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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