You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
