what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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