Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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