You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
