okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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