If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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