someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i think my mom watched the whole time
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He passed out mid-signature
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
