i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
