and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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