Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
