Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
As shirtless as possible
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
