I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
