My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And then my night got REAL pukey
and you fell through a lawn chair
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
