The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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