i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
