$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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