Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
