can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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