Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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