we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
