Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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